A parent asked a PACER advocate, “My son has
bipolar disorder. He has a very hard time making and keeping friends. What are
some best practices to help him have friends?”
What tips might
you share with this parent and others who have this concern?
It's important that everyone in your child's life be on the same page. First I would pray that the following will work:I would have a meeting with the parents of children your son wants to play with and include his teacher. Explain to them in a simple way what you know about his illness and what clues they might have before an event happens, including what steps they can take, even if it's just calling you. Let them know that he is just like their children in many ways and you want to ensure that he has opportunities to flourish just like their children. If your son becomes violent or threatening, let them know a medication check is in order, that he doesn't mean anything against the kids involved. Ask the parents and teacher to teach the other children what you have told them. Emphasize that if any of their children had an illness you would make sure that your child was their friend. Then pray again and thank God for whoever responds.
I have found that what works well is encouraging friendships with kids who I am also friends with the parents. When the parent of the other child is also friends with you, they are more likely to encourage and coach their child on how to deal with the issues your child has, instead of just encouraging them not to play with your child (which I find happens often with neighborhood kids and whatnot). Not having friends at school or in the neighborhood isn't so bad when you have some good friends that you can schedule playdates with regularly so look beyond your immediate environment. There are also some special needs meet up groups on meetup.com and yahoo for parents in just that situation looking to help their child make friends. There's nothing like another special needs parent to understand what you're going through.
It's important that everyone in your child's life be on the same page. First I would pray that the following will work:I would have a meeting with the parents of children your son wants to play with and include his teacher. Explain to them in a simple way what you know about his illness and what clues they might have before an event happens, including what steps they can take, even if it's just calling you. Let them know that he is just like their children in many ways and you want to ensure that he has opportunities to flourish just like their children. If your son becomes violent or threatening, let them know a medication check is in order, that he doesn't mean anything against the kids involved. Ask the parents and teacher to teach the other children what you have told them. Emphasize that if any of their children had an illness you would make sure that your child was their friend. Then pray again and thank God for whoever responds.
ReplyDeleteI have found that what works well is encouraging friendships with kids who I am also friends with the parents. When the parent of the other child is also friends with you, they are more likely to encourage and coach their child on how to deal with the issues your child has, instead of just encouraging them not to play with your child (which I find happens often with neighborhood kids and whatnot). Not having friends at school or in the neighborhood isn't so bad when you have some good friends that you can schedule playdates with regularly so look beyond your immediate environment. There are also some special needs meet up groups on meetup.com and yahoo for parents in just that situation looking to help their child make friends. There's nothing like another special needs parent to understand what you're going through.
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