Siblings

The sibling relationship is potentially the longest relationship of one’s lifetime. In the childhood years, siblings are very important in the development of social skills such as resolving conflicts, negotiation, cooperation, competition, and gaining recognition. In adulthood, siblings without disabilities may assume responsibility to varying degrees for siblings who have disabilities.

What tips do you have for other parents regarding sibling relationships?

Community Activities

Community activities can include all children. Examples include Boy and Girl Scouts, reading time at the public library, park programs, faith-base activities, and the YMCA and YWCA.

How does your child participate in community activities? What do you do, as a parent, to help make it work?

Your Thoughts

Sometimes a good quote can give hope or a new perspective. For example parent advocate manager Virginia Richardson values the quote she heard once, “You cannot hurry the river” (source unknown).  She says, “It reminds me that I need to enjoy my child and know that everything is not about a projected outcome that is totally dependent on how hard I work at it.”

Do you have a quote that has been helpful in parenting your child with a disability?

Child / Person first language

You’ve probably heard these words: impaired, handicapped, retarded, suffers from ___, crippled, etc. We want everyone to remember that children or adults with disabilities are like everyone else—except they happen to have a disability.

How have you learned to handle comments that degrade persons with disabilities? What do you say in response?

Love

Advocates at PACER are also parents of children with disabilities ourselves. We know the joys and stresses of raising all of our children, those with and those without disabilities. But focusing on the stressful part of it for a minute, one of the advocates told her husband, “The hardest kid to love is the kid that needs the love the most.”

Wow! What do you think? What has been your experience?

Fathers

When the world talks about rearing children, the tone is decidedly feminine. Despite the growing number of fathers in traditional or single parent families who participate in caring for children, resources and support specifically focusing on fathers are often missing. It is especially true for fathers of children with disabilities.

As PACER advocates, we also find that fewer fathers than mothers participate in IEP planning. Yet one father told us, “It is hard to explain, but there is a different dynamic when the father comes to the IEP meeting.”

What ideas can you share to support the involvement of fathers of children with disabilities as they help raise their child and advocate for him or her?